My Reflection on my presentation

It’s a very awful presentation. Nervous, mistakes, stops- even hardly expressed what I wanted to say. It’s due to insufficient preparation and simulation. I should have prepare more, write a draft for presentation and memorize it, then consider how to make it looks natural for speaking.

According to the reflection of classmates, I am a little confused because I thought the last part of my draft- portrait of stars in night on Mount Sinai is not good for a presentation, for it can’t be oral enough.

However, I think my volume is still good. Also, I think I did good job to make my narrative essay sounds more like a stories for telling. I tried to make eye contact with everyone, and I used some gestures. I will try to keep these for my next presentation.

It is so funny, and embarrasing, to see myself from audience the perspective. I laugh a lot actually because just now I realized what my parents and my best friends always told me about my way of making a point. In Cuba we have a precise word to describe that: guapería. But I don’t think there’s a word for that in English so I will go with the only thing I can think of is somehow similar to guapería, and it would be something like “rapper mode”.

I am not a quite, calm, Zen person; I do not know how to speak low or soft; and I do not have a girly voice. Instead I am very hyperactive, to loud and tuff, and my voice is in a very low range tone for a girl. So yes, I tend to sound impositive, and to maximized my gestures and to intimidate because it looks like if I were fighting….but I’m not! I just get excited when I am talking about something I care about. But still… it was super funny to see myself and notice what others see.

Perhaps one has to be a little bit of an actriz to stand in front of an audience and get lost in the moment and be patience with oneself and project what is in ones mind, because it so different the way you thing you are going to speak and react than the way you actually do it. And it takes a lot of practice, and a lot of confidence in order to be coherent, consistent, and make your point and to make the audience really undesrtand what you are saying.

I dont know if I can modified my loudness but I will definitely try to change my pojection, my guapería, my “rapper mode”, and of course, I will try to improve my English speaking skills, because that determines also the quality of anyone speech. I am sure that all of us, speaking in our native language are much better, so we need to learn how to be as good in English.

My presentation on narrative story is a mess with a nervous start and a blank out period in the middle. Thee conclusion part is not as bad as I imagined where I tried to be objective and neutral on intercultural communication.

I think the most challenging or exciting part of the presentation is the body part when I tried to explain my perspective on Chinatown and tried to convince my audience that what I said was true. I was worried about the confusion my speech might bring to my audience because it is a complicated issue mixing with national emotions and historical backgrounds. My expression may also confuse my audience as well because my logic and grammar. However, I felt much better when I saw Leticia’s comment under my post, in which she said that she had the same feeling in her trip to Seattle Chinatown. Then I noticed that I am not the only mandarin speaker noticing this problem and feeling alienated and offended in Chinatown. I felt surprised when the guy lingered from door to door for several times. However, thanks to his interruption, I performed in a much natural way because I stuck much to the structure and gave up the focus on details. Moreover, I am not sure wether I convey information to audience or not because it is a complicated issue based a lot on national emotion and cultural issues. There are a lot of conflicts because of cultural and social difference in China and people from other countries can hardly get the point without immersing in Chinese culture. Due to my blank out in the middle, I don’t think I am professional enough. I need more preparation on narrative story presentation in the future.

However, this is an interesting topic because it is a very cultural based issue. It is a real issue that people who are not Chinese may not think of it if I didn’t mention it in my presentation. My audience can also think of their experience in their ethnic towns in the U.S. I opened my presentation by asking questions to my audience to grab their attention. I hoped they could think of their experience in their ethnic towns in the U.S. My thesis was conveyed clearly but I think that I was thinking of it when I delivered the speech because I look confused. My presentation map is quite clear as well. I divided my body part of the presentation into three parts: how my Chinatown experience was; why people in San Francisco’s Chinatown react to me in an impolite attitude; why I felt alienated in San Francisco’s Chinatown based on my experience. Besides, I believed I have the credibility to share my opinion as well because I am a Chinese born and growing up in Beijing and I know the cultural background very well.

Generally speaking, the organization and structure of my narrative story presentation is vey clear. I think that I am good at structure and relatively weak at telling stories and conveying details. I always feel confused whenI talked about details. I have a relatively memorable conclusion and came back to the tolerance issue again. I think my audience can have better understanding on the tolerance issue after learning my experience in the San Francisco’s Chinatown, my research on San Francisco’s history, and my self-reflection combined with my cultural identity. Generally speaking, the transitions between paragraphs are clear. But I got lost after I said “China has developed a lot”.

I need to raise my volume in the future presentations and train myself with had gestures. Moreover, I need some pause i  my presentation. Fast speed, low volume, and  no pause made me sound soft and less convincing. My eyes stuck at one place in a period of time and then moved to another spot. I need to move my eyes constantly in a natural way. I stood in the front with less movement which is good and I didn’t use a lot of “um”. I was nervous at the beginning so that I repeated words several times. I think I used more time than I expected which should be controlled within 5 minutes and a half.

All in all, this presentation is messy but generally speaking it conveys the main idea in an appropriate way. It also arouse people’s thinking and got some agreement from other mandarin speaker. I need to work on narrative story and presentation on narrative story. Thanks for the supports from my professor and classmates. I got power and energy from your eyes when I made eye contacts with you in my presentation.

Self-Critique of my first presentation                                             Presenter: Drilona Aliu

Description of Experience 

Since I was the last one to present in class, I had the advantage of seeing everyone else presenting and catching on their strategies. It seemed that all the previous presenters were very comfortable on presenting and they rarely showed any sign on nervousness. Usually, I am able to control my nervousness by giving a “talk” to myself and I imagine myself as the subject matter expert. By having these positive thoughts in my mind, I am able to control nervousness that may be created as a result of the fear of talking in front of people and sharing something very personal such as part of my childhood.

The most challenging aspect of this presentation was creating a meaningful story through an effective framework that would transmit my emotions as a child and my journey to learn English. I find it very challenging when I have a lot to share but do not know how to properly deliver my message in a logical order. While watching the DVD, I was able to identify that this challenge was evident although I tried to hide it as I was speaking. The most surprising aspect of my speech was that I used a lot of facial expressions. This might have always been the case but because I never watched myself presenting I have not been able to identify this habit. I could have done better in certain areas such as volume and speech rate, but I believe that I gave a good overall impression.

I believe that my first speech was effective and kept the audience interested. There is more room to improve upon the introduction and conclusion such as engaging the audience in my opening question: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Such questions are always a good way to start the speech as it keeps the audience interested. I also think that due to time management constraints, I could have done a better job on the conclusion such as ending my speech how this journey affected the path I chose in life. This would “justify” how English has played a role in my life and how he has influenced my personal and professional growth.

I believe that my delivery was generally clear and organized;  however, while watching the DVD I noticed that I need to work more on the speech flow and find effective ways to engage the audience. My posture and eye contact were good but I definitely need to work on my speech rate, such as making more pauses so the audience is able to “digest” the information provided and not feel overwhelmed with the amount of the information at a fast pace. I also think I “overdid” my hand gestures and this is something that I need to improve. Being from the Balkan region, it is part of our culture to excessively use hands when we talk. We are very expressive that way and that may be distracting for many people in the audience. There is also room for eliminating fillers such as um as I tend to use them quite a bit, especially in the beginning of my speech.

Overall, I believe that I have many strengths such as the ability to speak without feeling overwhelmed or very nervous,  to quickly think and avoid mistakes without getting frustrated (mistakes are for human beings), and to deliver my speech with  effective voice projection and eye contact. The main areas for improvement would be to engage the audience as they may relate more to my speech, use fewer facial and hand gestures, speak at a slower pace and make appropriate pauses, and use fewer fillers throughout the speech.

As a result, my goals to improve in public speaking are:

1. Effectively organize and clearly deliver my main points. Each main point should be backed up with effective supporting points and examples to make it more illustrative for the audience. The steps I would take to improve on this goal are to develop  a detailed speech outline and rehearse it several times while timing itso I do not run out of time.
2. Improve my speech rate. I tend to talk too fast and make very few or short pauses. It is my goal to improve my speaking pace so the audience will be able to follow it better. This can be achieved through multiple rehearsals and ability to select only worthy arguments (quantity vs quality).
3. Last but not least is hand gesture control. Watching myself on the DVD made me realize that I use my hands a lot when I speak and sometimes that can be distracting for the audience. I need to work on using my hand gestures appropriately and a way to improve that is through recording myself every time I deliver a speech and reviewing it as that is something I do unconsciously.

There are many other things to improve and I am confident that I will be able to incorporate these changes in my next presentation!

In Thursday’s presentations, the classmates delivered extraordinary speeches. As we were in class, I was impressed by the quality of their work and readiness. There was no passive voice as they were presenting or interruptions that could eradicate their confidence. I can see how preparedness in a correct way is in contrast with fear.

Thanks to this assignment, I am able to look at my strengths and also areas of improvement in my public speaking skills. In fact, I loved the topic of my speech, difference in voice tone for certain words, and close interaction with the audience in telling a part of my story. By contrast, I noticed areas of improvement such as my interaction with the audience in the majority of my speech, gestures and vocal pace. The best of part of doing my speech, seeing the video and reflect on my performance is that I am sure I can improve my public speaking skills.

Looking to the video, I can see that my fear was connected with preparedness, but in a negative way. Actually, I had good techniques given by Prof. Kelly to prepare for the oral presentation. However, I decided to prepare for the presentation my own way. It was not the smartest decision. For instance, I saw my classmates’ openness and commitment to the assignment. Furthermore, I saw excellent speeches.

As a result, I am ready to take the stage again, but this time with a different attitude and using another method to prepare and present my speech. This time, I want to focus on the recommendations given in class. Overall, I cannot be happier with my confidence gained from the first presentation.

Trip of Mount Sinai

It was 3 years ago when I was studying in Egypt with 10 Chinese classmates from Beijing Language and Culture University. One of my classmate, Liang, came to my room when I just finished my essay.

‘How about a trip, bro?’ he said.

Liang was a tall boy from Beijing. He is a Muslim, and knew more about their customs than me.

Taking a trip with such a good guide would be safe and convenience.

I looked back. ‘Where are you going? I don’t want to go to Cairo and Alexandria for we have been there so many times.’

‘Of course not there. Sharm el Sheikh, a city on shore of the Red Sea. I wanna go to Mount Sinai to achieve a ceremony for it was where Moses got the Ten Commandments.’

In fact, since our last trip- all Chinese classmates together taking a cruise on the Nile- 3 girls started dating 3 boys. That’s why I had to stay indoors in such a good holiday while those lovers went on their own sweet trips, and may also be the reason Liang came to me for he was not popular between girls. What the hell.

‘Alright. Give me 30 minutes to prepare.’ I shut down my computer and stood up.

After several hours plane trip we arrived at Sharm el Sheikh. As Liang wanted to climb the Sinai Mount in night for religion reason, we had a hurry time preparing- then I found I didn’t get warm clothes, and we had to buy some. However it was apparently impossible to find warm clothes in a place close to the equator, so I ended up buying a thin Middle-East style robe there.

This trip began in confusion. The Mount Sinai was miles away from Sharm el Sheikh, thus we have to join a tourist group to get a ride to there. We thought it would be easy- you know, we both studied Arabic, and had got used to strange Egypt-style English, so we didn’t think there would be any possibility of communication. However, when we got on the car, we were surprised to see that all tourists on the car were Russian! Later we found that Sharm el Sheikh was a popular resort among Russian, and now even the guide spoke Russian to tourists and made introduction in Russian but not Arabic nor English. Though most of the other tourists were kind aged Russians, their Russian-style blunt English were too hard to understand and make response. We two Chinese could only sit in the back seats and talk with each other.

When we arrived at Mount Sinai, it was already 1 a.m. The weather was clear and cold, and the mountain was totally dark for artificial light sources was not allowed to be built on that mountain. Liang insisted to get on the top of the mountain before 4 a.m. (sunrise), so we decided to leave the tourist group and climb by our own.

As soon as I got off from the bus I knew I made a mistake. It was freezing cold there, totally different from Sharm el Sheikh in the daytime only miles away. No lights anywhere, and as the mountain was not developed, the road was only gravels and sand. Another refresh to my cognition- Arabian robes were not as warm as it looks- in fact, my Arabian robe was very limited to keep me warm. It was made of sesame, weaved very loosely to make it light and air permeable, which could not keep heat inside well nor keep cold mountain wind outside. ‘It would be a hard time.’ I said, ‘let’s go.’

Only 1 hours later I regretted for my decision to come. Gravel was pricking my feet, wind with cold air scraping my skin, and the narrow mountain way seemed never ends. The whole mountain had no plants, only rocks and sand, which made it more boring.

‘How long we still need to go?’ I asked, trembling in cold air.

‘We just begin, bro.’ Answered Liang.

As we were climbing the mountain, Liang told me something about Moses. I was surprised to know that he appeared in Christian, Islam and Judaism; looks like his image and story didn’t differ among these old religions. And also, I learnt for the first time that these religions had close origins and background; there is Jesus in el Quran, and Muhammad in the Bible. Many stories were similar in these religions.

When it came to 3am, things got worse. I wasn’t strong nor with good stamina, and my heavy bag with two drinks and a bag of food were consuming my strength second by second. Though I was cold, I still felt my sweat drench my T-shirt and the robe. My feet was out of strength, and my heart beat hard. As the altitude increased, the sand road became more and more rugged, finally became big rocks that needed to be actually ‘climbed’. Sometimes I had to accept Liang’s help to go ahead.

Finally we got on the mountain at 3:30 am. I sat down on the top of the mountain, exhausted. Liang said he was going to do his Salat (Islam religion ceremony), and I finally found that I did a mistake. I saw he brought 4 liter of water, and I thought maybe this mountain was so dry that we need to drink more, and I bought 2 liter of sprite and 2 liter of coke. These drinks almost drained every strength of me, and now I saw Liang took out his water, and wash his hands for his Salat. I could only took out my cold drinks, drinking and looked around.

A small deserted ancient church stood there silently. No one was here. Night breeze blew through rocks and stone fences, making smooth sounds. Then I looked up into the sky.

Thousands of stars waiting there, surrounding the lone moon, giving out weak light; dark blue sky changed its color into purple, and black. Constellations, most of them I couldn’t name, all around my sight; in the middle of them was a silver river of stars and nebula, the milky way, and a cold moon in a fading halo. That was the first time I see such a beautiful starry sky- much different from the sky in the cities or the country. I just felt so calm and still, feeling myself as clear as the sky and the universe. The more I looked up, the more I felt that the stars were slowly sinking down to me, and I was also slowly floating up towards them. In the next hour before the sunrise I sat there like this, thinking about the existence and the fading, the instant and the eternal, until the sun rose and swept all the cold and dark from that journey.

In my bitter-sweet childhood days, the words “freedom” and “independence” represented the crux of my troubles. I knew that it was not the kind of trouble I would get in when I would scribble on the pink painted walls of my bedroom, eat unripen fruit from my grandmother’s garden, or turn off the TV while my dad was anxiously watching the news. To my understanding at that time, my family’s forced mandate to leave behind everything we had built in our hometown and move to Albania as refugees was solely to be blamed on the cry for freedom and independence from Serbia. Little did I know at the time that being refugees was not a decision made of freewill… it was a must, as our country was on the verge of war.

Even though I was very young and did not have the reasoning capability of an adult, I could sense the tension around me and my family. In the midst of palpable terror and fear, I managed to find peace in self-teaching myself ballet. Despite my mental state, ballet initiated a renaissance within me. Through ballet, the chaotic scenes of fear and terror were balanced by the beautiful, slow and synchronized movements of my body. Dancing allowed me to hide in a perfect shell, built from pirouettes and fouettes. Although I had no formal instructions, ballet enabled me to escape to a self-constructed free world that everybody in the refugee camp pined. I was no longer confined by the gravity of our situation; I had found my freedom in dance.

My parents had always been supportive, but when I shared my desire to take ballet classes, I was surprised by their response. I wanted to take ballet, not solely for my enjoyment but also be part of a group. Despite my hopes, my parents softly explained to me that they could not afford to sign me up; however I should continue pursuing it on my own and they can borrow some DVRs from the public library. I felt devastated and unloved! How could they not help me pursue “the dream of my life”? That’s what parents are for!

This devastation intensified when I found out that a few days later that my dad had signed me up for private English classes that cost even more than ballet lessons. I grew up in a bilingual environment of Albanian and Italian, so I did not need an academic introduction to learn a language. I learned Italian mostly playing in streets with friends and watching my favorite cartoons. Why did I need a third language, especially in a country where nobody knew English? I asked this question over and over to my dad and I remember him replying: Americans are our friends and one day we will go there! I asked if I would take ballet classes there and he replied: YES! It was the biggest yes I had ever heard from him.

This promise motivated me to attend all my English classes and try hard to learn the language. It was not an easy process as English was not a common language in a post-communist country like Albania. Majority of people spoke Russian as it was the foreign language taught in schools.

Many of my friends who attended ballet classes would comment on how much they enjoyed it and how one day they will be performing in prestigious academies such as the Bolshoi Ballet Academy. I secretly envied them but I always remember my father’s promises. Although he never kept his promise, I started liking my English class and my teacher as well. I became friends with a lot of my classmates and we would practice every other day. Another companion to this journey was my father as he would push me to learn new words on weekly basis. The English course was useful for teaching grammar rules however; it was my father who would always make sure I fully utilized all the available resources. He even bought an Albanian-English dictionary and would ask if I knew random words. Although some of those words were outdated and my father spoke no English, he tried to do his very best to help me.

Ballet remained one of my unfulfilled dreams however; I accepted the reality as I was used to not having everything I wanted. I lived as a refugee in Albania where security and food were my family’s primary concerns. It would be very selfish of me to ask for something that my parents could not afford and see a payoff. I know that such decisions were not easy for them and now I realize that my parents’ guidance to take English classes was the best decision as it opened many doors for me. I am getting an education in the US, visited many interesting places and met many people from different cultures.

My family’s journey and the discipline I learned through ballet have served as my primary inspiration to work passionately and ethically to achieve my goals, no matter how big the obstacles along the way.  It has not been an easy journey, but today I can undoubtedly say: it was worth it. Through my experience, I learned how to work hard in order to achieve a higher personal and intellectual status and how important it is to not take things for granted. I attribute everything that I have come to know and sought to discover to my family and to my passion for ballet.

Reflection on presentation 1 and post to our blog:

• What do you notice about your presentation?

I realized that I should improve speaking skill more. At that time when doing presentation, I myself thought I was speaking well. However, now I’m disappointed that my English is difficult to understand both in terms of fluency and pronunciation.

Also, I was wriggling throughout the presentation, so I should be confident, or be relaxed next time.

• What feedback did you receive from classmates?

I was just talking about my narrative myself, and didn’t pay attention to audience’s reaction. So I should talk to audience and involve them in my story.

• Based upon feedback and your own appraisal, what are your goals for next presentation?

Be confident.

Be relaxed.

Be active more.

It would be difficult to improve English skill by next time, so I have to keep practice everyday.

I can see a big difference between the part I memorized and the part I tried to talk about based on key points. To me , good preparation requires memorizing that could also eased my tension, and it worked. However, when I tried to recall my next points or certain phrases, I tended to look up to the ceiling or down to the floor and I didn’t pay enough attention to my audience. However, speaking based on key points is the opposite: when I talked about the differences between writing in English and writing in Chinese, I wanted to make some change to my original points and you could tell that I were a little bit nervous: I made some grammatical mistakes and had some false starts.

I spoke quite fast in the beginning because I was worried that I might exceed the time limit. This is also why I failed to pause after I raised a question to my audience and after I finished some paragraphs, which makes me seem in a hurry. Some necessary pauses will make my speech more natural. My classmates, Veronica, also mentioned that I should make my conclusion more powerful. Apart from my volume and tone, I believe some proper pauses would help as well.

I was not used to making gestures. I compared my gestures and good speakers’ gestures, I found that their gestures are more powerful and mine are weak and sometimes unnecessary. Next time I will practice more on my gestures and control other body language.

Next time, I will speak more confidently and clearly, make firm eye contacts and proper gestures. I will keep working on speaking based on key points instead of memorizing every words, finding a balance between these two methods. I will also try to decrease the distracting “ah”, “um” and lip smacks.