Before the sun had risen in Ahmedabad this morning, all eight of us waited patiently for our bus to arrive. Sleep still in our eyes, we all piled in together to head to Mother Teresa’s Home for the Dying and Destitute. A smaller Gujarat center based off the original home in Kalkutta; this home holds over 180 of the sick, old and mentally disabled men of Ahmedabad City – a whopping 35 more than it can handle capacity wise. As the sun was rising, we all stood around inside; making plates of idly sambar and coconut chutney to serve the men for breakfast.
For me, it was almost an out of body experience as my own personal fears and discomfort in old folks’ homes came to light. As I handed out plates to the men, some old and frail while others with various disabilities, I kept trying to surpress any and all good feelings I was starting to formulate. For some reason it felt so wrong to feel good about what I was doing, partly because I felt so hypocritical. Nice young girl from the states, here in India serving those in need for an hour; “someone bring me my award” I sarcastically thought to myself.
As we left the home and headed back for breakfast, we talked about how we all felt. When I expressed my unease to Dr. Iyer, she brought up the importance of taking what we saw with us everywhere we went in our future endeavors. Throughout my youth in the states, my mother would constantly tell me to be grateful. To be thankful for everything I had and to always keep in mind those who weren’t blessed like me. Every summer when we would return to Tehran to visit family, she would point out the kids close to my age living on the street and selling candy as a reminder of just how lucky and blessed I was to have all that I did. It was this exact sentiment that drove me to return to school for my masters degree in the first place.
My mother and I in India on our way to America, 1990
Some say there is no such thing as a selfless good deed. Especially for those of us out west, we get lost in the philanthropic acts of giving money instead of time. Donating a few dollars whenever you can and you feel as though you have accomplished so much. I myself am just as guilty of this as anyone else and not to take away from donating money; it is a necessity just as well. But, if we were only to donate more of our time we would be face to face with the infinite suffering of the world and hopefully more aware. I hope that, for the rest of my education and career, I always keep the images of those in need in the back of my head.
