In Thursday’s presentations, the classmates delivered extraordinary speeches. As we were in class, I was impressed by the quality of their work and readiness. There was no passive voice as they were presenting or interruptions that could eradicate their confidence. I can see how preparedness in a correct way is in contrast with fear.

Thanks to this assignment, I am able to look at my strengths and also areas of improvement in my public speaking skills. In fact, I loved the topic of my speech, difference in voice tone for certain words, and close interaction with the audience in telling a part of my story. By contrast, I noticed areas of improvement such as my interaction with the audience in the majority of my speech, gestures and vocal pace. The best of part of doing my speech, seeing the video and reflect on my performance is that I am sure I can improve my public speaking skills.

Looking to the video, I can see that my fear was connected with preparedness, but in a negative way. Actually, I had good techniques given by Prof. Kelly to prepare for the oral presentation. However, I decided to prepare for the presentation my own way. It was not the smartest decision. For instance, I saw my classmates’ openness and commitment to the assignment. Furthermore, I saw excellent speeches.

As a result, I am ready to take the stage again, but this time with a different attitude and using another method to prepare and present my speech. This time, I want to focus on the recommendations given in class. Overall, I cannot be happier with my confidence gained from the first presentation.

Language is a powerful tool to connect with people. Having said that, language can also be used to belittle people. Since moving to the United States, I have experienced a series of events that have shown me the difficulties of a language learner and living in a world in which stereotypes are still present. As a Puerto Rican, I have experienced a distinct political status among the Latin American and Caribbean countries. Compared to other Latin America countries, Puerto Rico has no political sovereignty.  For instance, Puerto Rico is considered the world’s oldest colony. The complex relationship between United States and Puerto Rico has transformed the island—economically, politically, and culturally. Through the island is technically a colony, Puerto Ricans have not assimilated to the United States’ culture. Despite this powerful defiance, Puerto Ricans are often stereotyped as being ignorant and lazy. The constant struggle of demonstrating I do not fit this description contributes to my inability to fully communicate to the full extent of my potential. To that end, I will describe my journey, as a language learner, which has involved many valuable and eye-opening experiences as I have continually endeavored to overcome stereotypes.

From a very small age, I was exposed to the bilingual world. At school, we used textbooks written in English, but the lectures were actually given in Spanish. So when it comes to reading, my confidence level is a lot higher in English than it is in Spanish. I have a higher ability of receiving and processing English, both written and oral, than I have of producing high quality pieces of writing or discourse in English. However, I still consider myself an English learner and I feel like I struggle just like any other English language learner from anywhere else in the world.  My ability to write is amazing in some areas and superficial in some others. When the topic I have to write about is a topic that I have previously studied or discussed, I feel more confident in the correct usage of vocabulary and sentence structure than when I have to discuss an unfamiliar topic.

At the same time, when the topics I have to express myself about are topics that for some reason evoke some emotion in me, I find it much more difficult to discuss them and write about them. For this same reason I have a hard time when discussing such topics with my classmates and when taking part in group discussions for our class projects. If the topic is something I have a passion for, my mind goes completely blank and I can’t get an idea across even if my life or world peace depended on it. When I moved to the United States my linguistic experience proved to be different than that of others due to the fact that even though I do have the ideas and resources well developed in my mind, I face a kind of writer’s block that is fueled by my fears and insecurities caused by my life experiences of being judged under people’s preconceived ideas and stereotypes about what Puerto Ricans are like. I feel that all eyes are on me.

With this in mind, I feel pressure to be a good representation of my country and gaining the individual respect of others. Therefore, I cannot turn in an assignment without having a native English speaker review it. For instance, my academic experience at MIIS has been a very positive learning experience, in which my professors’ feedback has been so beneficial. Nevertheless, some students have shown disrespect toward my skills and abilities. For instance, a teammate did not want to read the recommendations I spent a whole night preparing after reviewing our project because, as he put it, “he had no time for my input”. These recommendations were written in an essay that was reviewed by the Writing Center, as well as by one of my professors from my university in Puerto Rico. Nevertheless, despite the fact that I put a lot of work, effort and energy into this assignment, it never saw the light of day: the intended reader never even gave it a chance.

Despite all of this, the gains are bigger than the uncomfortable experiences. Moving to the States has pushed my linguistic boundaries a great deal. I am now able to sit in class and feel at ease with the environment. I feel more comfortable completing my assignments for all my courses and can easily finish my reflections. Furthermore, I have realized that to become a confident writer in English, I have to free myself from mine and others misplaced preconceptions.